pay those damned parking violations!

I was just perusing through today's Omaha World Herald Newspaper, reading the Midlands section to check out my favorite column which is Robert Nelson's informative and opinionated front page writeup of section B, and there was a piece entitled "Check your mirrors for scofflaws" informing people that ignored parking fines will result in further financial punishment on the beholder in the market of $20. I know this doesnt seem like much to the hardworking middle-class, but as little as twenty bucks could buy a case of beer, a lapdance at a stripclub, a new t-shirt or a plethora of other things....Hell, give it to Haiti, but why pay more to those assholes at the DMV or the couthouse, I mean, what are they giving you?

Did Jesus spank his little saviour?

When I was growing up, my mother felt the constant need to remind me that Jesus was always watching my every move. When the day came that I discovered masturbation, I was so horrified of the thought of our Lord looking down on me that I would often find myself slumped down in the corner of our old storage closet with the lights off, a flashlight, a few pieces of toilet paper and the most current JCPenney catalog that we had (I was young, people...). I would keep the lights off because A) I was sure from my years in catholic school that Jesus was God in the form of man, therefore, like me, he could not see in the dark, and B) my mother had a crucifix and/or picture of the guy in virtually every room in the house. I'm not exactly sure when I fell out of my faith, or whether or not it had anything to do with masturbation, but I'm just spit-balling here, and I am pretty sure that if the catholic church was okay with the act of self-fulfillment, more people would be there on Sunday dropping money into baskets, paying for their salvation. I think that if God loves us and wants us to be happy, masturbation and premarital sex should be a requirement to get past St. Peter...Take a few tips from my good friend Kenny, who has been pimpin since pimpin was PIMPIN....sex is cool, and oh yea, be sure to join my group on facebook...Kevin's Crusade for Abstinence and support my cause!

What's so super about the Super Bowl

Seriously, what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the words Super Bowl? For Willie Nelson, its probably a giant bud of marijuana, and for most of the country football comes to mind, but for me, its just another excuse to get as drunk as I possibly can and urinate off the roof onto my friend's car whilst screaming about the lyrics to a song by Slayer. This year I chose an alternative route. I actually watched the game, and I got to say, The Who have still got it.

Effort to repeal Nebraska helmet law still stuck in neutral. FINAL DRAFT

Imagine Peter Fonda riding his chopper down an open stretch of highway in 1969, his hair blowing in the breeze across the collar of his black leather jacket; his red, white and blue helmet riding passenger on the seat-post behind him.

With Spring poking its head eagerly around the corner, it's easy to realize that soon enough the sun will be shining down brightly, the trees will have budded bright and colorful leaves, and the sound of high octane motorcycle engines will once again dominate the roadways.

Interstates and highways across the country will be teeming with pulled back pony-tails flailing in the breeze, men and women everywhere living out thier rebel-set dreams on a long stretch of blacktop, that is unless they are riding through the Good Life State.

Once again, Nebraska Legislative Bill 200, a proposal that would repeal the state's mandatory helmet law for riders 21 and over, failed to reach the amount of votes needed for repeal, thus creating yet another setback for cyclists seeking the freedom to ride their bikes with thier hair dancing in the breeze behind them.

Thursday, February 11 marked the fourth time in the last two decades that repeal measures have reached the full Legislature since the helmet requirement was reinstated in 1989.

The day also marks the fourth time in as many tries that the efforts have been for none, as the Legislature recieved 27 of the 33 votes needed in order to repeal the law.

Don't voters realize that 30 out of 50 states can't be wrong. Not to mention the fact that repealing the law would bring in much needed business and tax dollars that go elsewhere because of our helmet law.

Sturgis, SD has made a name for itself as the Biker Capital of the World, with people coming from all over for it's annual summer festival, which come August will be celebrating its 70th year in exhistence.

Many riders bypass our state, opting to go around rather than through it, because we have taken away their free will in choosing whether or not to wear a helmet.

So what ever happened to this supposed "Land of the Free" we are living in?

Aren't there more pressing matters at hand, or do we really need to deny someones right of free will and choice?

We live in a state wherein upon reaching the age of 21, individuals have the right to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and abort a child if they so deem it necessary to upholding a conventional lifestyle, so why is it such a big deal if someone of the same age wants to ride a motorcycle without a helmet?

It is not so much a question of safety as it is one of control. Perhaps Sen. Scott Lautenbaugh of Omaha said it best when he questioned, "Whose rights do we trample on next?"

Watch out mall-walkers, your time could be coming very soon.

Helmets! Safety might soon be a mtter of choice as Legislature opens debate on mandatory helmet laws.

There is a debate currently being held about the importance of helmets when operating motorcycles in the State of Nebraska. Is the proposal is approved, Nebraska riders over the age of 21 would be granted with the option of whether or not they want to wear a helmet. Are they NUTS??? What the hell? I saw Easy Rider and I understand that Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper are total bad-asses sans-helmet, but did we forget the end of the film. Death! sure they were shot at, but I am sure the impact their skulls made with the pavement (unseen in the film, yet easily imaginable) didnt help with their chances of possibly recovering. I can't help but say that although this would save the state much needed funding from lost tax revenue, we would essentially be increasing the risk of taxpayers getting killed. I hold faith in the fact that the attempt to end the mandatory helmet law has failed since 1989, but in today's society, with drugs being legalized and, generally, the overall state of things, Anything could happen...

$20 to set up a facebook account...ludicrous!

Look in the regional briefs section in today's Kearney Hub newspaper and you will see it. Lexington, NE will be holding a Facebook start-up class in which applicants pay twenty dollars to sit in a room and be informed on how to type their name and favorite things. Basically, they tell you what the 'Sign Up Now' icon means...word for word. If I would have know this, I would have been holding weekly classes for ten bucks a pop since 2004 when the social-networking giant started. It irks me that I never think of things like this, because I would love to be able to say that facebook is paying my tuition! Anyone want to learn how to turn on a coffee machine or know what the play button does on their stereo, because I would be glad to help for a price.

I know that there are some people out there that just don't understand computers, but this is damned ridiculous!

OMFG! Don't drop the babbbbbby MJ!

Breaking news! MJ returns from the dead and resides in garbage trucks; eats babies.