Noah Gundersen wrote, "Time is a fast car passing me by. I'm getting older and it feels alright." As I sit here in my 24th year of living in this glorious "*land of the free" I start to realize that although we are all getting older, there is really no reason to feel alright about it. I have tried everything, from taking batteries out of clocks to never turning my calendar over at the start of a new month, but all in all, everyday that I wake up, I look and feel old. Older. My hair is getting thinner, my back is already developing aches and pains, and I am just waiting for the day that my hip goes out and I can no longer achieve an erection without the help of a pill. Don't get me wrong people, that stage of my life is far off from the present, but that doesn't mean it won't seem like just a day ago I was sixteen and running my car into a ditch about the time i reach 80. It seems to me like I am always chasing time, but like a dog on a leash, I ca only chase that fast car to the borders that have been laid out for me. Predetermined. Everything is timing. Fuck time. I think I will just start watching NASCAR in a cut-off Def Leppard t-shirt and homemade jean shorts, drink a shitload of Pepsi and Busch Light, put some Garth Brooks on the stereo and try to find my place here in the midwest, because God knows if I will ever escape this flatland of nothingness that holds me captive, so I may as well get accustomed to it. Drink Bleach, robots are coming to kill us all. What? What? OK Yeah. Dramamine Dramamine Evolution Revolution Retribution Self-Destruction Coitus Coitus Coitus COITUS Octopus arms in a sea of red, Horror Show Horror Show Whorer Show Bedlam Bedlam its all a fucking dream and merrily merrily merrily we float down a river of rootbeer, therefore we are root beer floats. Mare Night Night night nite nite Nightmare its all a nightmare its all a N.I.G.H.T.M.A.R.E. dream dream dream the day away . I love Chai Tea and cigarettes floating in an ashtray on a rainy day in august. I love snowfall in the summer. Absurdity is blissfulness. Blissfulness is Masturbation. Masturbation is life. Sex is Neat. NEAT.
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Wow. I'm not sure what I was supposed to get out of that, but it was strangely fascinating. Reading the last third of this post was like falling into the rabbit hole.
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